i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
