how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
