He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize