the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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