I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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