in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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