I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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