i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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