I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
