i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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