Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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