she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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