Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
