i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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