Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
