did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
They are going to name an STD after you.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
