shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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