we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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