Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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