She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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