Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
