i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
