Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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