u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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