he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
