I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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