Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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