Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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