hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
