you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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