those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
