At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
