tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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