A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
