My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
