Banned from zoo.
Again?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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