i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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