I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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