So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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