Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
