Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
