Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
