You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
