all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
