Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
