First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
