you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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