it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
