Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
