the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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