i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just gargled with NyQuil
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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