You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
