We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
