im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
